I found this article online.
DenverPost.com – Haggard says he is “completely heterosexual”
I have some concerns about the way this is being reported. There is definitely a very negative spin on the way they are presenting Haggard’s dealing with his homosexual feelings.
Ralph said three weeks of counseling at an undisclosed Arizona treatment center helped Haggard immensely and left Haggard sure of one thing. “He is completely heterosexual,” Ralph said. “That is something he discovered. It was the acting- out situations where things took place. It wasn’t a constant thing.” Why Haggard chose to act out in that manner is something Haggard and his advisers are trying to discern, Ralph said.
Even in the way they have presented the above quote – there is a definite cynicism about Haggard’s recovery. Now, I am not exactly all that thrilled either in the way Haggard dealt with the public finding out about his same sex attractions. I think instead of making up lies about what he did and didn’t do, he should have taken the opportunity to come clean and find the help that he needed.
My biggest concern is that in up coming months and years – people are going to be keeping a very close eye on Haggard and the first time he messes up and acts out again – it’s going to leave a very sour taste in the mouths of those who are already suspicious of those who don’t embrace their same sex attractions and wish change and of Christians in general.
I don’t want to make assumptions about Haggard since in reality I have no clue what he has or hasn’t done, but as far as myself, here are some things that i have learned and experienced.
- Homosexual attraction don’t just disappear or change simple because you will them away, or pray them away. Believe if the issue was just that you could stop them just by flipping a switch – then i think there would really be very few people in the world with homosexual feelings.
- Homosexuality isn’t a simple thing. I don’t think you can sum up everyone’s experiences with homosexuality into a few hard and fast causes. I think there are a lot of things that play into the development of same sex attractions. Not everyone has had the same experiences in their life so to say that it’s only because of a father wound, or only because of peer rejection, or only because of sexual abuse, I think is unfair and a little to neatly packaged. Homosexuality is so complex and sometimes such a deep and personal struggle that three weeks seems hardly long enough to even read some of the important works on the subject – much less being able to understand and put all the information into use.
- It’s easy to be in denial of these feelings. Man I had and still have such ups and downs regarding the reality that I struggle with same sex attractions. I remember thinking to myself as I fantasized about a male teacher i had in middle school (who saw my potential as a musician and took a special interest in me) that i wasn’t gay and that these fantasies didn’t mean anything. At times, when I am not experiencing strong same sex attractions, it’s easy for me to disassociate from the fact that I ever even had those feelings, almost an attitude of – who me? never!! But the reality is I will probably have aspects of same sex attractions that I have to deal with for the rest of my life and that is ok as long as I bring them into submission to Jesus Christ as I deal with them. Which is hard for some people to understand, both gay and those who struggle with unwanted homosexual feelings. For me, the opposite of homosexuality is not heterosexuality – it’s righteousness. Just like the opposite of being a lustful heterosexual isn’t homosexuality – it’s righteousness.
Even though I have my doubts concerning the depth of Haggard’s being “cured” that doesn’t mean I have a total lack of sympathy for him. I have prayed and will continue to pray that God would reveal deep truth to Haggard and that Haggard would be able to face these attractions, find the help he needs, and be able to walk in lasting freedom.
God bless,
Todd
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February 21, 2007 at 2:35 pm
By continuing to say “The gay me is (or was) an evil wretched part of my life” that vile message hurts by proxy young people who are questioning their sexuality, or anyone in a similar situation. Just as his initial lies and deceit hurt his own family, his “cured” BS continues to hurt people by ignoring and mocking REAL psychology, logic, and reason. It may not be as harsh as Fred Phelps, but it’s the same message nonetheless.
February 23, 2007 at 12:01 pm
I understand what you are saying. I don’t believe that he has done justice to any side of the this debate, but to imply that attempts to change your sexual attractions is against REAL psychology, logic, and reason is unfair.
There are many people who aren’t happy with their homosexual attractions who wish to change – and it’s not out of a homophobic orientation. I think that sure there are those who are afraid, bit there are also those who identify themselves and define themselves by other standards other than their sexual attractions. I for one define myself by my faith in Jesus Christ. Because of that Biblical world view, I don’t want to act out on the homosexual attractions I have. And I should have the right to seek help to address those attractions and help and support in not acting out on actions that I believe are harmful to myself emotionally and spiritually.
I think the key is that there needs to be respect for each other – if you want to change go for (just don’t be stupid the way Haggard has been about it) and if you want to embrace it – go for it (just don’t assume that everyone who doesn’t agree with homosexuality is homophobic).
Todd
One other thing – I agree that making kids who are trying to find their place in the world more difficult by labeling them as evil or vile is destructive. I think what they need is clear, reliable information so that they are able to better understand themselves and understand the ramifications of both sides of the this issue. Unfortunately, because there is so much emotion involved in this issue facts get muddled by the emotion – and that only serves to hurt everyone.